So one of my best friends, Shallynn, is the colour educator at the Aveda academy here in Vancouver. Along with her co-worker Tracy, they made this video to promote their new hairspray, Control Force! So please watch it! If they get enough hits they could win prizes which they deserve it because they’re the sweetest girls and wicked talented to boot!

P.S. I would just like to mention that this hairspray is unreal. I had the pleasure of getting my hair styled with it already and they managed to turn my long-ish hair into a lovely ear length bob.

If you’re hating your hair/need a change and live in the Vancouver area please go see my friends at Aveda!

Aveda Institute Vancouver
101-111 Water St
Vancouver, British Columbia
604-669-6992

I’m approaching six months. Which 157 days ago seemed so far in the distance. A couple of days after Nathan passed I joined an online group “Young Widows Bulletin Board“, to connect with other people dealing with similar loss. The site had their forums split into durations of “widowdom”. The first being one day to six months. The next being six months to one year. I feel like I’m graduating from one group to the next. It’s bizarre because it almost feels like a point of maturation in being a widow, but I don’t feel like I’ve gotten any better at this.

I still cry nearly every night when I go to bed. I still feel that ache in my heart when I think of certain moments together. I get that lump in my chest when I think about the night he asked me to marry him (or rather, he told me).

The point that I’d like to make, is that after 6 months, this still feels so damn unnatural. I’m trying so hard not to become the bitter, jaded and enraged female that eventually turns into a spinster. It’s just so hard when pages like Facebook are littered, for lack of a better term, with wedding and baby photos. YES, to me…that is the natural order of things. But here I sit, without the love of my life and a vial of frozen sperm that I need to save thousands of dollars to get pregnant with. That to me, is not normal.

Yet as I sit on my tuffet and stew and stir about how things aren’t fair, I can’t help but feel that I wouldn’t take it back for anything. I would do anything to have it be the other way around, but I have to feel proud with how I’ve weathered considering what I’ve gone through. I found the love of my life and I did not give up on him or us. I learned hard life lessons before many people my age will have to. I’d like to believe that I learned the true meaning of love, while many will never know.

He was the missing corner piece to my puzzle, and nothing else will ever be able to fit in that spot.

One of my favourite movies so far, is I Love You, Man. I have fond memories of the day I saw it. It was a P.C. (pre-cancer) Saturday afternoon. I had been bugging Nathan to go see a movie, but we couldn’t decide on one so we went to this on a whim. I got dressed up all fancy and we made a date of it. Turned out to be a hilarious movie. What I enjoyed MORE than the comedy was the fabulous set decoration. I still watch it to this day and often pause the DVD to just peer into the details of their living spaces. Here are a few screenshots, care of Apartment Therapy. If you want to see more, click here to read the entire article.

I’ve taken a liking to the Sky1 show Pineapple Dance Studios. It’s safe to say that their staff member, Louie Spence, steals the entire show. I wish I could have him as a life coach.

I’ve been daydreaming about owning some Lotte lamps for quite some time now. After a lovely thrifting afternoon with my friend Shallynn, we saw some at Attic Treasures on Commercial Drive. It solidified my love and subsequent quest to get a pair for myself. There are so many to choose from. I definitely can envision them in my bedroom or living room at some point. I’ll have to start saving up for a pair.

Originating from Toronto, Danish couple Gunnar and Lotte Bostlund started producing them in 1956. They are still manufactured to this day. They are a timeless classic and a testament to great mid-century Canadian design.

Source: The Fabulous Find – Vancouver, BC.

Source: Fullhouse Consignment – Vancouver, BC.

Source: stylenorth.ca

I’m not quite sure what to say. The world is a constant mystery, but I’ve learned one hard truth…that the world is not fair.

On Monday, Kathy made her journey to the other side where Nathan was waiting for her. It just seems so unfair to rob the world of two very great individuals in such a short amount of time.

I wish I had gotten to spend more time with Kathy, but I can honestly say the time we had together I will hold dearly for the rest of my life. Although the time we spent together was often hard and very painful, I couldn’t have asked for more in a future mother-in-law. If I could sum her up, Kathy was that warm cup of cocoa on a cold day. She made you feel welcome with her warm smile and kind demeanor. Strong, positive, generous and loving…she was one of a kind.

I love you Kathy. I’m so thankful for the man you raised who is my soul mate. I’m so thankful for your loving and supporting family, who treat me like one of their own. I’m so sad that you had to leave us, but I know that you’re now where you want to be.

I don’t know why
why you had to leave me
and I don’t know why
you said goodbye
only if I try
can I feel the earth beneath me
and as days go by
I come alive

Colin Hay – I Don’t Know Why

My friend Leslie and I hit up the Vancouver Greek Summer Festival this afternoon with some well prepared empty stomachs. I had the chicken souvlaki dinner and Leslie had the chicken souvlaki wrap. THEN for dessert we had the most blessed dessert to ever grace this fine earth…loukoumades. Imagine mini donuts dipped in honey with a light sprinkling of cinnamon powder and sesame seeds. These things were beyond the definition of good.

Today Jessie Misskelley turns 35 years old. He was imprisoned as a 17 year old for a crime which he, along with Jason Baldwin and Damien Echols, did not commit. He has now spent more time behind bars than in the real world. Crossing fingers and praying that this is the last year these innocent men will have to be in prison.

I still wear my WM3 POW bracelet everyday in support of them, as well as a bumper sticker on the back of my car. If you haven’t heard of the case, I please implore you to check out their official website.

Dear Summer,

It’s nice to see you again. I remember last time you arrived at our door step with avengence. Nathan and I battled you with an oscillating fan from Walmart, cold washcloths and a constant supply of watermelon.

This year, I’m coming at you with the same tactics, but I’m going to add time at the beach and a bikini in the mix. I hope you stick around for a while, despite the fact that you make it hard to sleep and cause me to sweat like a pig. Did you know you’ve made it 27.5˚C in my bedroom!?

Regardless, I’m glad to I get to spend this time with you in Vancouver.

Love always,
Nicole

I plan on spending the entire weekend between Kits beach and my balcony. SPF 50, pepperoni sticks, limeade and gossip mags will definitely be in my survival kit.

For some time now I’ve been absolutely obsessed with watching Northern Exposure. If anyone remembers it’s a wonderfully scripted, Golden Globe winning comedy/drama from the 1990s. I was a bit too young to really grasp a comedy/drama of it’s kind when it was new on TV, but now at 28, really enjoy it.

I was inspired to come up with a “lookbook” based off the show.

Northern Exposure by nlathe featuring American Apparel tops